Practicing Self Care to meet your personal goals
I am not just a mom, wife, nonprofit leader, or business owner. I have many different facets of myself that require attention and care. Once I became a parent, I realized I am still me. I’m still a girl with dreams, goals, and wishes. I didn’t become another person. I didn’t turn my whole life upside down, at least not on purpose.
I went through a difficult transition recently. My father died, I no longer work at a job I held for almost seven years. All of this happened during the first year of our twins’ life, and caring for two babies (even if you have great help as we do) is hard work. Hard, joyful work, of course. There were many adjustments, conflicts, pain, questions, and grief.
Self care became important to me again. It’s something I had been neglecting for some time. While I still don’t have a lot of time to practice caring for myself, I do a few little things. Mainly journaling, praying, talking to friends and family, and making meals at home (actually my husband is the family chef!). I continue to add to this list.
The first thing I did though, is work on my mindset. I realized that I needed to get back to a few basics, to re-assess my values. One of the first things I looked at was taking back my power to choose the direction of my life.
And that’s the thing.
You always have a choice.
You choose to make the best of your circumstances. You choose to CHOOSE your life at any moment, no matter what’s happening to you, because you are you. You are the one who has the ability and creativity to make the best choices for yourself, to carve out the life that you want.
You get to choose yes or no.
And whatever you choose, it’s up to you, and it’s okay — as long as you know it’s okay, it’s your heart’s choice and wish.
How do you manifest what you want?
-Let go of the need to “have” it.
-Be cool with whatever the outcome will be.
-Yes, have goals, but don’t make them the end-all, be-all.
-What your mind chooses to believe, to think on, to focus on, that is the reality you will create!
-Be flexible. Work with what the universe throws at you. Go with the flow.
-Become comfortable with pain, because with pain comes growth, comes the lesson.
-Hold the thought, hold the dream, but don’t make it your god.
Here are some affirmations that help me when I’m struggling:
-“I have everything I need.”
-“I am enough.”
-“I love and accept myself.”
-“I am all I need.”
-“God loves me.”
Here are some mindset tips that have helped me:
-Place yourself in the ideal thought, mindset, as if it were happening right now. Use present tense and first person. “I am a business owner who helps others market their message in creative ways.”
-Do the work. Just do something! Set the timer for 25 minutes and work on the WORK. Actually do the work. Repeat day in and day out. Don’t think, just do.
-Journal. Journal your thoughts. Write lists. Look up journaling prompt ideas on the internet to get you started. Writing helps you process things, it helps you remove blocks, it helps you get clear on your goals. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It can be in a notebook or on your laptop. Don’t worry about spelling or grammar, just write!
Even though my life has changed drastically in the last year, everyday I marvel at what I can do, what I can push myself to accomplish. It gives me great satisfaction to achieve a goal. I can push harder, go farther, even if I’m not feeling my best, because I have made time to write and think about my goals in the midst of all the craziness and strong emotions.
You are not handicapped by your situation.
You always have the choice and room to give yourself the opportunity to hone your skills and meet your goals no matter what season of life you’re in. You are still you, and you can still surprise yourself.